2 years in bed

depressed-on-bed-1

So it has been a long time since I’ve updated my blog. This is because for the past two years I have had a complete lack of motivation. I think you could say I have been depressed for the past two years.

I lost all my creativity and haven’t been able to do any art work or writing for two years. The lithium poisoning was a massive trigger to this. It made me have problems with my memory and concentration to start off with and then that turned into psychological damage and I never really recovered.

I have been staying in bed, doing nothing, not even listening to music or watching TV and have had to be forced out of bed by my boyfriend at like 6PM after work. I have neglected the housework, myself and lost every ounce of motivation I had. To cap it off I have been so tired because I cannot sleep and I’m on so many sleeping tablets it makes it hard to think.

I got so depressed and had to go into hospital to keep myself safe. Now I’m attending a day hospital where I am learning to socialise again and get up in the morning. I have been planning my activities and am slowly managing to keep up and awake throughout the day.

My ability to do art hasn’t come back yet but I am hoping that it will come back if I force it. I am planning to do some art tomorrow. I’m starting my attempts to be creative with writing this blog post as a kind of therapy. It is my idea to write a new blog post every day for the next week. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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