I need some sleep

Well I have insomnia (again) and it appears to be here to stay for the moment. I have tried everything. I’m on 20mg temazepam, 4mg of melatonin and they have upped the valproate but  my brain is having none of it. Hours and hours of sitting there with thoughts jumping around my brain like ping pong balls, trying to get some sense of calm but never getting there.

For some reason, my  brain seems to like to go into panic attack mode as soon as my head hits the pillow and I can barely breathe. It’s almost like I’m afraid of sleep which is really quite bizarre and the benzos are not doing anything to help.

The best thing I have come up with is listening to music with binaural beats in which seems to be helping a little, at least with the panic if not with the sleep. I have bought these things called SleepPhones to get rid of the aching in my ears as they’re supposed to be comfortable at night.

Other than that, life is pretty dull at the moment and I spend every waking hour staring at a computer screen and will until I’ve finished this damn thesis. Sometimes I think all this is a little too much for something that’s going to gather dust on my bookcase for the rest of my life but hey, the show must go on and all that.

And now for a quick song…

I need some sleep
It can’t go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there’s one I always miss
Everyone says I’m getting down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
I’m in too deep
And the wheels keep spinning ’round
Everyone says I’m getting’ down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

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