Working with mania and valium

Apologies for not updating in ages. Things were going quite well for me and I have been stable, at least until last week.  I am having an episode of mania and it has really stopped me functioning. Large amounts of valium have made my behaviour “socially acceptable” but is really taking its toll on my mental capacity and I feel really wiped out. I came back to Uni today but feel very frayed around the edges and I’m not sure if I’m going to make it through to the end of the day. I really don’t want to be here right now but I feel like I can’t take any more time off as I have so much work to do.

I feel a mix of euphoria and fear. This is ruining my life and as hard as I try I’m not getting anything useful done. I’m going to try and do some simple work and hopefully that will make me feel better.