mind make up your mind

I had been feeling much better and have been getting a little high in mood from time to time but my mood seems to be unstable

Saturday was an amazing day, one of my dearest friends came down from Reading and we went to London Zoo. I was packed with energy that day like the energiser bunny. We went round the entire zoo (its really big), on my feet all day, went out for dinner at this amazing Ethiopian restaurant in Kentish Town (they have a great vegetarian selection) and then headed into central for some more wandering, ending up with another friend in a bar in Soho until nearly midnight. I could have handled more but I didn’t fancy the night bus on my own.

As of yesterday afternoon, I have been feeling low again; I didn’t manage a whole day at work and had to come home early today. I’ve lost all my energy and feel really down.  I really wish my mood would stay stable for a while. I’ve taken some diazepam but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

I feel like a ticking time bomb, just waiting for my mood to plummet further. It just feels inevitable at the moment and I really don’t know if I can take another depressive illness right now. It just makes me feel like I don’t want to go on any more. I’ve tried to call my social worker but he wasn’t in the office so I guess I’m going to have to go it alone for now. Will try and check in with the blog soon with further developments.

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