Having a bad patch

I cant seem to do anything right today. Everything is falling apart

All I want to do is go home and sleep!

I hate feeling like this, I feel in limbo: I’m neither depressed or high but agitated and feeling like everything is a bit too much for me at the moment, I feel really overwhelmed by everything.  The doctor first gave me some diazepam which wasn’t really in a high enough dose to have any effect and the next doctor gave me some lorazepam which works a little better but it only works for a short while. I don’t know what I need but it is something a bit more substantial in order to get me through this.

My pulse keeps racing and I have dry mouth and palpitations. On top of that my thoughts are racing through my head at an incredible pace and not good thoughts either. I keep thinking of hurting myself.

My mind is fixated on hurting myself. I want to cut my wrists and I can’t get the thought out of my mind. I just don’t know what to think about it and I feel like I can’t resist the urge. Every time I see a knife I want to really do some damage.

I’m seeing the social worker and the GP tomorrow so maybe I can work on it from there,  but until then I guess I’ll have to try and carry on and be strong.