Its funny how quickly my mood can change.
I’m getting really bad thoughts. I’m fixated on thoughts of hurting myself and am feeling an immense compulsion to slit my wrists. Its not fair, just a few hours ago I was fine and feeling chirpy and bouncy but now I feel like ending it all. Why wont these thoughts leave me alone?
I feel like I’m living on a roller coaster, my mood just won’t stay still and I just feel like my brain is doing its own thing independent of what is going on around me. I wish it would stop.
I think that this is a stark reminder that I am not out of the woods yet and that there is a lot of getting better to be had. Perhaps I went back to my studies a bit soon or maybe this is just a natural progression of the illness. Either way, it is the weekend now so I shall spend the time relaxing and spending some quality time on me and with the Mr.