Home from hospital

I’m home from hospital!!!

I’m being taken care of by the crisis team who come round and give me my meds twice a day and monitor how I’m getting on. They’re not that consistent as it depends on who you get coming round as to how helpful they are (bit of a mixed bag really).

I’m feeling a bit better. My mood has improved and I feel a lot better in myself.  I feel in control of my impulses to hurt myself.  I am still getting voices in my head telling me to hurt/kill myself but I feel in control, like I can resist the things that they tell me to do. Feeling strong!

I haven’t hurt myself recently, which I take to be a good sign. I am actually getting some sleep (which is probably due to the haloperidol) but I’m feeling a little under the cosh as the drugs are not without their side effects and taking haloperidol is not to be undertaken lightly.

Generally I’m just glad to be back to my own bed, sofa, TV and territory.  I feel like I should go and pee in strategic locations around the flat but I think they might put me back in hospital for that.

Going back to work (well PhD studentship really) was weighing heavily on my mind for the past few days but I managed to go in from 10 till 3 today.  I am quite proud of my achievement and although I didn’t make it through a “full day” of work I think it is a step in the right direction. I did manage to get some stuff done but I was just so distracted, tired and grumpy I gave up and went home mid afternoon.

I AM GOING IN TOMORROW!! (Sorry must psych self up). I hope to get back in to the full swing of things really soon.  Its funny but doing my PhD is a really big motivation to get better when I’m feeling bad and for that I am very grateful.